Chapter 7: Sunday Funday: The Luv Tub

Sunday started off with a shower. And for everyone that really knows me knows my thoughts about showering on Sundays! It was 8am, we had only gotten 4 hours of sleep and we had 2 hours to pack our things, check out of the Flamingo Hotel the check into the Quad hotel for one night to only return back to the Flamingo when my sissy and mom arrive on Monday! 

Showered but not happy we took our hungovered bodies that now have developed the shakes and lugged our suitcases out into the 75 degree weather on the strip. The Quad was only a quarter mile away, but under the conditions we were facing it was easily a marathon til we go there. Checked in, dropped our bags than off to watch football.

Dubs friend, Jake, lives in Vegas now. He met us at our favorite hotel The Venetian (where the drinks are weak but the price is high). With my new Vikings shirt on to support my team it was a shame they couldnt pull a win to the browns. Shame, or disappointment.. I actually don't know between those two. This shirt says..  28 All Day on the front.... 69 All Night on the back!

Now please note before I continue... I was at a sports book place, watching my game live and I'm Vegas! Some lady, in her early 30s I'd presume, approaches me to tell me my shirt is inappropriate. Now in part of the shirt, I like it because you'd have to have knowledge in football to understand it. Assuming this broad knew very little to nothing, I started to explain it but was still told it's inappropriate. Lots of laughs, and head turning later, I found her inappropriate for calling me I appropriate. 

Next stop was to our room to watch more football. We put in an order for some Asian food to get the most bland, sticky rice dishes that left us all unsatisfied. We didn't let that bring us down. With a tub the size of a small car, Dubs, Jake and I grabbed our beers, turned the tv and enjoyed rooting, screaming and hollering for the Bears to crunch Rapey-Burgers style only to find out that the tubs drain was clogged. 

8pm came fast this day. We were on the phone to hit up The Dux. They had been so invested in drinking they had yet to eat. This was exciting for us because we were still pissed over the Asian food that was so tasteless I wouldnt have even donated it. We met them at Serendipity. To our luck our night was only going to go from fun to complete entertainment, Laughter, love and more fun! 

Everything (including the physical size of the menu was huge) at Serendipity. We opted for an appetizer while The Dux gets a Ceaser Salad and Vodka Tonic. Aunt Tammy starts raving about the hot dog they have on the menu. How tastey, how  perfect, how cheesy, how every time she goes there she tells herself to try something new but knows she just won't be satisfied! 

After that we were off to Kevin's room with the strict assignment of killing off the jello shots. Between dancing, joking, laughing, tears, chants and doing the string test to see if our pregnant friend, Sarah, was having a boy or a girl, Sunday night in the hotel totally topped off the day making this Sunday Funday the ultimate one and it wasn't even over yet. 

Grabbing jello shots to go, and walking Tammy to her room was our next mission. This basic mission was going to be not so basic. While in tammys room, I took a seat..  in the closet which was a glass foggy door, pressing my hands and face to it, becoming the closets thing to a horror film. Snap, snap, snap, pictures were taken to then finding out the door wedged shut and I was stuck in side. With no fear and 20 pulls later I was free'd but to find Dubs coming out of the bathroom after having clogged the toilet... With piss.

We knew this was our time to get out of the room before anything else went array. 
Stay tune for Chapter 8: Mud Pud and Carol Pie arrive. 

Chapter 6: The Flamingo

Morning started out with me begging Warren to go get food before the gut rot from the night out last night kicked in. $25, 1 sub, and 2 beers later, we were ready to walk the strip in the day light. 

We climb on board the elevator at the seventh floor to only be stopped at the 14th floor. Before the doors opened we could hear the music playing... To find out it was a 40 yr old couple walking around and jamming out to a portable boom box. Thrift shop now reminds me of the entire elevator ride, dancing with two random people, stopping at every floor and no one brave enough to get on the elevator with us!

We were off to conquer the world and find some slots to play. We walked down the strip admiring all of the people that dresses up for you to take your picture with. Of course if you don't drop some money in their trip bucket they'll turn their face in hopes of you getting a terrible picture. But this didn't stop me of snapping some pictures of the Elvis trio to send home to mom out of excitement in getting to see her in just a few more days. 

Having not placed any money in a slot yet, I was probing for which one was gonna get me first. After 4 sports books and 3 casinos later I stuck to my roots and dropped a twenty in The Invasion of the Moolah! Of course to hit the bonus and cash out with $30 five minutes later. Since going to the Casinos in MN, me and my sister have this theory....your machine has to be on the highest volume in order to pull any sort of luck. Although Dubs usually shakes his head at me when we turn these up, it is fun when you get a little win to see everyone tune in to your machine. 

Dinner was at a Mexican outdoor restaurant with Asian servers. Quite an entertaining thing to say the least. The ambiance of the outside world made for perfect people watching. A Macaw Parakeet freaking out behind us, little birds flying around over head and a wedding going on in front of us was just part of it all. 

Our sever was a hoot. After an explanation of how Sol beer came about, well his theory at least, selling his bow tie to a wild party of 6 for $50 and telling me to watch out for the birdys so they don't 'poo poo on my boo boos, because they'd be hard to miss', we were very entertained. He even pulled a fast trick on us reminding us it's the 21st century..  so females can pay for dinner. Out of charm, I cough over the plastic card and surprised both him and dubs by allowing his plan to work. 

Shots, drinks and blackjack were next on the list. The dux, new friend that joined us, Mike, Dubs and I set foot on the town. Bobbing, weaving and indecisive turning we headed towards the Venetian for drinks. Later we will have learned that we should have bobbed, weaving and changed our idea. 

One block down the strip we see a man holding a sign. (Go figure right? It is Vegas after all.) The sign said 'kick me in the nuts for $20. 12 people and $20 later, we had the money to do it, but the battle became 'who's gonna kick'. All fingers started coming at me... But I just couldn't do such a thing. A hop, skip, kick later we were back in mission Venetian. 

The Venetian now has a tag line that I gave it. The Venetian...where the drinks are weak and the price is high! We got to the counter, ordered 4 drinks and 4 shots. Our server, Jackson, then asks for $110 for our collection of booze. I'm sorry Miss Jackson... You can not be for real. With no interest left to be in that casino, we took our drinks and left. 

Well, started to leave. By this time it was 1am, conversations started to turn from hilarious to the emotional 'I love's' and the Dux came on with this idea about how be loves to be drunk. Haha. That shortly ended with him mooning the strip.
Last casino, last drink, last moment our for the night I saw a new fun Monopoly slot. Telling the boys where I was off too didn't register until they turn to find me and bam, I was "lost".  Having no clue what had happened the last twenty minutes while I sat at the slots I said I'd be at, Dubs greats me out of breath and relieved to see me. Not caring at all about his sweet gestures of happy to see me, I proceeded to run out of my money in the slot machine trying to recreate the sweet bonuses. 

On our walk back to the hotel room we walked thru the gardens to check out the Pelicans, Flamingos, other birds and fish. Every single bird stood sleeping on one foot. Every...single...one of them. And why do Flamingos have such weird legs/knees? 

Late to bed, early to rise, gotta soak up the sun knowing it's snowing back home!

Coming up next is Sunday Funday:The Love Tub.

Chapter 5: The Dux

By the time we got settled in, and changed out of our airport clothes....oh wait...I got changed out of my airport clothes, because until 9am this morning Dubs (Warren) luggage was still traveling the world solo (probably trying to pick up chicks), it was 2:00 and we were ready to meet up with THE DUX and cheers a few cheerers for his birthday!

Lucky (man its nice to use that word in this city) for us, she had a suite in the exact same hotel as us. They had an entire bar set up in their suite including 2, 1.75 bottles of patron. Our first appearance in the suite started with introductions followed by here's what cocktails we can make, then BAM...WE'RE TAKING SHOTS! Four drinks, 3 Patron Shots, 2 Swedish Fish shots a one piece of pizza later we were primped and ready to walk to town for a little gambling action for The Dux birthday.

At this time, Dubs and Dux had only put money on the Boise/Fresno game. I told them that it might not be as ideal to throw as much money on it as they did because they were playing the Fresno side. Lets get real, Boise and Idaho is filled with Mormons, which means they are extra focused on the task at hand...FOOTBALL! BUT at the end of the day, I bit my tongue, as they pulled out the win. And, for winning we got vouchers for free drinks at the bar. We asked for Seven and Sevens, got Bourbon and Sevens instead...? They were not good! In fact for once in my life, I loved the fact that Dubs proceeds to SPILL everything because once back in the suite, he came in to give me an oh so sweet hug and grab a chicken and waffle potato chip and proceeded to spill the entire drink all over my legs. I was SO happy I didn't have to feel obligated to drink it anymore.

Dubs, Dux and I were off to conquer the world. Our first stop was the Harris. The Roulette tables to be exact. BUT FREEZE FRAME, we got goat roped at the door into this great idea.... buy a drink and get a shot free. One: the drink we picked was some frozen energy, pineapple, god knows what else mixed with Skyy.  Two: the thought about how fast we chugged it because at the table you were only allowed to have one drink in front of you..makes my brain hurt from freezing all over again. Lesson learned, just because they say its free....IT IS NOT FREE!

After NOT making money at the Roulette, we were off to an outdoor bar to play BlackJack. Dubs bought in for me, making sure us three were rocking the table. Well, until the hand struck midnight and the birthday boys luck had drawn thin. Trying to keep up with the $20 bets Dubs was forking out, Dux found himself as an observer, not a player. But the free drinks at the table were flowing and the fun was hand.

Our walk back was interesting. I had no clue where we were going and Dubs was carrying the food that smelt way to good not to be eating at that very moment. Standing along the street sides are these people wearing shirts that say...GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS. I looked at one and ask her "OMG, ALL GIRLS?" Her our of excitement gave me a business card for all 5 that they have working tonight. I showered the Vegas streets with them.

Now, that Dubs luggage arrived, it means my tooth brush has too!!! Time for breakfast. Stay tuned for what today has to hold.

Chapter 4: The Plane

So our middle seat options were mine which was an exit seat stuck between a bigger male and a European male, whom I later named "the Nodder" and "the fidgetor" respectively. Warren was stuck in a normal row between a male and a women with a child maybe that of 3 months.  

The plane ride was smooth and one would thing for a red eye and with the help of a beer or two sleeping would be no issue. Hahahahaha. I had a girl who met a guy sitting directly behind me. They talked for 3.5 of the 5 hours about her sisters wedding, about how she can't paint her nails periwinkle, but plums ok. And French tip manicure is only acceptable if it's the real nails and not fake shit...and so much more but it is way to painful to relive the terrible conversation again by telling you about it. 3.5 hours and 4 shushes from the flight attendants later...they still continued to yap. 

Now one may blame that on me for mot bringing ear plugs... But you see... I did bring ear plugs. I went to put in my left one and it was successful. I went to put in my right one and a twist to many it popped out of my hand and landed in the nodders lap. I then proceeded to try to sleep during the flight...because normally red-eyes don't have fucking yappers... However between constantly getting bumped by the fidgetor and the nodder constantly leaning his head on me... My success for sleeping straight sitting up was super unsuccessful. 

And this doesn't even begin to bring up the snorer warren had to sit by that would wake himself up from choking on his spit, chow down on snacks and head back to sleep....seriously a mini life of a ferret. 

We got to Phoenix, ate breakfast.. then almost missed our flight because they moved gates, warren fell a sleep, and I was to busy on the tablet to pay attention to time.

2 hours after that, we landed in LAS VEGAS... Only to find out Warrens bag was still in Anchorage because of the whole mishap from this morning. 

Never assume you buy a seat when you buy a plane ticket. All you buy is the guarantee of getting a pat down and being surrounded in a pool of infected hackers. 

Up next... The Dux! 

Now off to put on my face and play in Vegas. 

Chapter 3: The airPort

Being early to town for our flight, we decided to hit up Apple Bees for a beer. Figured the help to make us a little more sleepy would turn out to be beneficial considering we were on a red eye. Later we found out this may have had no beneficial results for either of us.

Just shy of midnight we called a cab to get us to the airport on time. We get picked up my the cab driver I'd like to call, Melissa McCarthy. "Melissa" was all dolled up in her leather jacket with her leather cap, reminding me oh so close to the movie, The Heat. It was "Melissa's" birthday, and we were her first ride of the night. Would should had known things where array when we watched a car run through a red light, and s tiny line at the U.S. Airways counter.

Once in the airport, I knew I was only a few minutes away from getting Warren through to security and the fun of our vacation could start. He hates the whole check in, check your bags, stand in line, take off your clothes, get scanned, get patted down, the get redressed process. I don't so much care, in fact I still laugh about the time I was in Hawaii and was selected for the random scan and pat down while I was wearing very little clothing....Like I had a place to hide anything when I was nearly hiding my butt and boobs.

However, this wasn't going to be that easy. We go to the kiosk and get our tickets. We head to the counter to check our bags and BAM....Warren has no seat on the plane. The lady, who was very nice, explained that they will ask for volunteers to give up the seat since they are over booked. If a volunteer comes up he will get that seat....if not, they will pay him $1,300 and he'll catch the next plane.........twelve hours later. Out of concern, I asked her, "so am I just expected to travel alone? To show up in Vegas with our first night hotel room under his name?" She said yes, unless I'd give up my seat for standby looking to go....I didn't bring my big girl panties to just show up to Vegas alone, let alone my chastity belt to ensure no one tried anything fishy either. As my oldest sister would say...this could be my chance to make a name for myself as a dancer...since she tried to convince my family that I moved to Alaska to hid my profession.

Now to me, it boggles my mind that after all these years of airplane companies being in business and successful......they don't know how many god damn seats are on the plane so they don't over book? Anyway, we crossed our fingers and figured if there was ever a great time to wish for luck...starting this trip off lucky would be amazing.

2 minutes to til plane leaves, Warren got a seat and the lesson of ALWAYS check in online when you can learned, we scarred down the tarmac and were the last two on the plane. Of course this meant the push and shove to find a place for our carry on  and that we both had shitty middle seats

and that will lead me to the next chapter....The plane

Chapter 2: The Pack

One week til departure and I'm getting all my "ducks in a row." Warren and I went shopping to get the last minute necessities that our closet didn't hold. For him that meant an entire suit, Marc Anthony to be exact (Name brand call out... Put that in a movie and make them pay for it. What up?) three new button down shirts, dress socks, a tie, and two awesome pairs of jeans. 
 

My necessities of course meant Forever 21 and Target. Best part of it all is that....I'm just going to Vegas, The temps going to be 90's and Sunny, so dresses, shorts, cute shirts, and sandals was all that as on my list. Anyone that knows me, will not be impressed, but accustomed to hearing me say... For $209.80 I got: 3 new dresses, a romper, two shirts, a tank top, two undies, three pairs of shoes, two pairs of shorts, three necklaces, two bracelets, a purse, ear plugs, makeup, sunglasses...and I think that is my list...
 

T-minus four days till departure and we find out Warrens friend, football teammate, graduating classmate had passed. He had been fighting bone cancer for almost two years, but had lost the fight. Usually T-minus 4 days of leaving anywhere I'm already half packed with a mess over my bedroom of everything  I'm going to cram into my little suit case and pray it stays under 50lbs. This time... It didn't so much seem to matter and when I got around to packing, I got around to it.
 

T-minus one day til departure. Being a spoiled brat... Sometimes! (and only sometimes, sisters) Warren had bought me a gift card to Escape Salon & Spa (another name drop?) I got a solar bronzer package which meant lying naked on a bed for an hour getting oiled, salted, and tan. I never do stuff like that. I didn't know what to expect... But sometimes it's fun to be spoiled. 
 

Still T-minus one day til departure. We find ourselves at Chepos with many people. Chepos is a Mexican restaurant in Eagle River that is notorious for helping the community raise money. By many people, Is say at least 300 people were there for the celebration of Robbies life. They had a slide show of him, his favorite candy, food for all, drinks, but mostly... They closed their doors to the public to give the people that needed to grieve together as one a place to congregate. It's powerful to see a small town do such a meaningful thing. 
 

T-6 hours. Just got off of work so I book it to Kohls to spend my Kohls cash. $50 is a lot not to spend. Then home I go. I dreaded packing because I didn't know what to pack. By the time  I started it wasn't so bad.
 

I packed 8 dresses/nice outfits, 8 mediocre and 8 lazy type outfits... I zipped my luggage and we were out the door ready to go at 11pm!

Next to come is the port...

Chapter 1: The Plan

It's July! Warren and I were sitting outside enjoying the beautiful summer that Alaska was presenting to us, when he turns to me and tells me how exciting it'd be to go to Vegas around his birthday in mid-august. 

Now, me being me and having stuff pre-planned so far ahead of time, I already had August packed full with the OAR concert, working at the Fair with KTUU(the news station is work at), our first trip to Valdez, and camping trip and a fishing trip and praying we'd be able to go shrimp fishing out in Prince William Sound. Thinking about the Vegas trip put my mind into overdrive.

 I knew if I was going to give up the gorgeous, warm summer that everyone, but me was bitching about how hot it was, I was going to be heading home to show him the Minnesota State fair... And how you can truly get everything you could want... On a stick! Needless to say, moving our date to September wasn't as hard as I had thought it was going to be. 

See all I had to do was put a little bug in some ears. My coworker/friends birthday is September 20, my mom wants to see Vegas, Me and My middle sister spend most mornings g-mail chatting at work... Three whispers later we were booked for Vegas. 

Tickets, check! Hotels,(four of them to be exact) check! Now to sit on Groupon, or Poop-on as I call them since they are literally my biggest competition being that my major job at KTUU is to build deals that are in the similar format as Groupon. I felt guilty everything I hit buy.... But complete tours, including the bus ride to see the Hoover dam for $40 a person seemed on real. Being able to throw confetti off the top and watch it flutter down is just the icing on the cake! 

Next to come is the pack...